I no longer believe in God. I know it’s cowardly to announce this on my blog, not having talked to any of my God-people, but there you have it. Further conversations with people who believe in fairy tales are not going to change my mind.
Two simultaneous straws broke the back of the camel from Nazareth.
On Death
First, I’ve been asked to give a sermon at church on finding hope in the midst of death and grief, and you know what? I can’t. I’m done trying. It’s silly to pretend that there’s a happy ending, that the people I miss are OK now, and that there is a spiritual realm in which they thrive. What factual evidence is there? We either end up underground, dressed in our finest, or we are burned up in an oven and our ashes thrown around. There are no wings involved.
On Prayer
The other precipitating event that led to my conversion was an exchange on Facebook. One person said “prayer changes things” with regard to some dreadful world event or another, and an atheist responded, “Money changes things more. They give the money to the rich and encourage everybody else to pray. I say get political and take the money back.” Basically quit being fooled into praying instead of actually doing something.
At first I thought I could understand why she felt that way — I have a lot of respect for this particular atheist, and I think that some Christians do ignore the Biblical warning, “faith without works is dead” — but then I decided that my atheist friend is dead right. Prayer is just a chimera.
Prayer is a farce. There’s nobody listening. Nobody home. No “creator” that cares, no spiritual force working for good in the world, no power stronger than ourselves. The meaning I used to find through prayer was all coincidence, my brain’s neurological transmitters trying to form randomness into patterns.
I have been duped.
On Toast
This world is not getting better; people are not getting better — there is no hope. The human mind is the highest power there is, and history and politics and Rush Limbaugh prove that it is incapable of rising above itself to envision or pursue any higher state of being.
We’re toast.
Now that I understand there’s no God, I can abandon the silly notion that I have power beyond human comprehension to change the world for the better, or to love people I don’t like, or to overcome character flaws I would like to be rid of. I no longer have to carry around this false gratitude for beautiful vistas or cute babies or the belly laughs of my friends. Nope, it’s all just random chemicals and minerals and electrical fields born of primordial soup to no end.
I’m free!
A bunch of chemicals and minerals playing in primordial ooze
Author’s Note
This post was written in response to the WordPress Writing Challenge, The Unreliable Narrator. A time-honored literary device, the term was first coined in 1961 by Wayne C. Booth. He wrote: ”I have called a narrator reliable when he speaks for or acts in accordance with the norms of the work (which is to say the implied author’s norms), unreliable when he does not.”
So . . . consider this post unreliable and expect a return to your fairy tale-laden blogger friend in the next post.
Writing with Spirit 
Jan 12, 2019 @ 12:07:26
I’m coming at this from a different angle. I believe in God. I believe he is incredibly cruel and sadistic. He’s a bit like Joe Carroll off of The Following: zero empathy, indifferent to the suffering and pain of others, and likes to isolate and torture a select group of victims until he breaks their spirit/heart. But unlike Joe, God can make the torture last for years. God is not love. I don’t know where these silly old priests have got that idea from. Perhaps it’s wishful thinking, because it certainly isn’t based in ANY kind of reality whatsoever. I am quite sure that such a sadistic God is eminently able to create a place called Hell though. I would expect a cruel God to do that. I would strongly advise anyone to stay the fuck away from God. You are going to end up miserable, lonely and depressed. It isn’t worth it.
Jan 12, 2019 @ 13:47:31
Wow – your description of God sounds like mr. trump! 🙂 I’m so sorry that’s your take-away. Of course, the idea of God being love comes from the Christian scriptures, literally and by implication through the way Jesus re-visioned the punishing God of the Hebrew scriptures into a forgiving, grace-filled, generous parent.
In my view, bad & sad stuff happens in life, but over time for “those who have eyes to see and ears to hear,” the whole thing is a redemptive journey — there are much larger forces at work than we can see with our limited view, and those forces are good and restorative. With the things that have happened in my life, I might indeed be “miserable, lonely, and depressed” if I was not gifted with my faith and my closeness with God — She is my rock and my joy. I hope that you see the divine differently at some point. Sending you love & compassion for the harrowing journey through life! Thanks for commenting.
Jan 02, 2015 @ 18:39:24
Primitive humans found selves in a dangerous and hostile world, the fear of wild animals, of not being able to find enough food, of injury or disease, and of natural phenomena like thunder, lightning and volcanoes were constantly with them. Finding no security, they created the idea of gods in order to give them comfort in good times, courage in times of danger and consolation when things went wrong. To this day, you will notice that people become more religious at times of crises, you will hear them say that the belief in a god or gods gives them the strength they need to deal with life. You will hear them explain that they believe in a particular god because they prayed in time of need and their prayer was answered.
Jan 02, 2015 @ 22:56:25
I guess your point is that you don’t believe in God? That’s allowed. 🙂 We all get to decide for ourselves.
Oct 12, 2014 @ 18:00:18
I was going to ask which God you do not believe in anymore? May be you have shifted from believing the God is The Jews and Christians and now believe the god of the atheists-Nothing. Or the God of the people who explain everything away-Scienta as my Latin teachers call it, the English say science. Whether you agree or not all the understandings you have come to came from your god. You have just changed from a cocoon into a butterfly.
See you at the other side of faith in a creator God when you wake up from your pretended slumber. Cheers!
Oct 12, 2014 @ 18:45:11
Thanks – I’m not sure I agree that all the understandings I have come to about God really do come from God. I’m probably off the mark at least half the time. Guess that’s why the bible says “lean not on your own understanding.” Thanks for visiting!
Oct 10, 2014 @ 12:43:41
Good one. John
Oct 10, 2014 @ 12:52:25
Thanks! Sure gave me food for thought, both the writing and the responses.
Oct 09, 2014 @ 20:56:23
I am so glad I read that thoroughly and realized you were using it in response to the unreliable writer post and thankfully didn’t have to comment about you being disrespectful to believers. Phew! Bold post. I enjoyed it more once I realized how you were really writing it and looked closer at your blog. Good writing though!
Oct 09, 2014 @ 21:36:51
Thanks, Emily. And thanks for following my blog.
I did alarm a lot of my “believer” friends, but also have annoyed a lot of atheists. All around, a fun exercise if one is trying to cause trouble. 🙂
Oct 09, 2014 @ 21:59:25
Well you definitely attracted people to read your blog with such a controversial topic! It was well done and I’m glad you did it in spite of the trouble. 🙂
Oct 09, 2014 @ 22:14:40
Yeah, I’m going to have to think of a doozie of title to follow that one. My stats went through the roof for two days. 🙂 Something to do with the devil, I think…
Oct 09, 2014 @ 19:04:09
Lol, a very good literary device to shake things up a bit. There will always be these existential arguments for or against “god”. Isn’t it interesting that when people drop all arguments (conceptual or otherwise), then God just is, here all along. Nice job Melanie. 🙂
Oct 09, 2014 @ 21:39:41
Yes! That’s what so funny. I think God must be amused by our constant debates. It’s like debating the existence of air. Thanks for reading and commenting!
Oct 08, 2014 @ 14:26:26
Jeez, Mel, you scared me. Very convincing!
John
Oct 08, 2014 @ 14:44:49
This is fun! I didn’t expect so many people to fall for it~
Oct 08, 2014 @ 13:29:56
omg, my stomach was fluttering. something was amiss. and the quote added more pressure. yikes. nobody does THAT, i thought. so glad to see the ‘frame’ at the end. whew. calming down now. breathing coming back to normal. jeeze, woman. you could give people strokes!
Oct 08, 2014 @ 13:38:44
This is turning out to be a lot of fun! 🙂
Wait, is this you, JP? Are you connected to Blue Hills now? You’ve confused me (and I guess I confused you)!
Oct 08, 2014 @ 13:50:07
yes, it’s JP. lol imagine my surprise! my horror! a good piece of writing, my dear. an unreliable narrator exercise well done. what blue hills? where does something say blue hills? curry college is blue hills and i did have an association there. but whaaaaat are you talking about? are you in workshop NOW?
Oct 08, 2014 @ 14:05:36
No – I am wasting time when I’m supposed to be on the road headed there. When I click on your name here, it goes to the Blue Hills memoir website. Weird!
Oct 08, 2014 @ 13:29:31
Good try, Melanie. The voice I heard was of someone who is miffed with “God” and is threatening not to be His friend anymore.
Oct 08, 2014 @ 13:35:06
lol. You know me and my faith too well. 🙂
Oct 08, 2014 @ 13:27:27
So let me get this straight, this was a sarcastic view intended to portray the opposite of what you actually believe?
Oct 08, 2014 @ 13:34:09
Yes, pretty much. I was attempting to be an “unreliable narrator,” out of character for myself. I might call it parody or irony, more than sarcasm. “Sarcasm” means “to tear flesh” — I try to stay away from that. 🙂
Oct 08, 2014 @ 13:48:11
It really is a shame, I haven’t read any of your previous posts but it seems in this one you have used logic and common sense, just to flush it down the toilet in the last paragraph. I am worried about your pessimism though, you seem to have a very depressing view of the world without a God… And just because it may seem depressing to you doesn’t make it untrue 😉 I don’t know you but please try to search for truth and not what you want to believe. That is what makes me a happy atheist!
Oct 08, 2014 @ 14:04:34
Ah – you see, that’s where we differ. I believe that truth lies beyond “logic and common sense.” It includes those, but goes beyond, which is hard for us mind-centered humans to understand. I flushed up, not down. 🙂
I am glad you are happy, and you are right, before I got to know God, I was a lot less happy. I did not grow up with faith, and am glad I found it.
I spend a lot of my time seeking truth through prayer and meditation. Of course it’s what I believe. It’s what you believe, too. You can no more prove to me that there is no God than I can prove to you that there is. You may look at evolution and say, “see, there is no God,” while I look at evolution and say, “what a marvelous plan God created!” It’s belief.
Peace-
Oct 08, 2014 @ 14:29:26
Ah, that is where the religious fail to understand the ‘logic’ in their own beliefs. So you believe a God created us unable to comprehend him yet expects us to believe in him? That is absurd!
You’re right, I can’t prove God doesn’t exist, as there is such little evidence to use at all. So for you to say you can prove he exists as much as I can prove he doesn’t, should be a reality check for you. Can you prove to me that my belief in the dancing pink unicorn is silly? I look forward to it 😉
If you believe in something YOU need to provide the evidence. Which is why I wouldn’t expect you to believe in the dancing pink unicorn until I proved it to you 🙂
Oct 08, 2014 @ 14:43:03
I did not say that I could prove God exists as much as you can prove he doesn’t. I said that neither of us could prove our beliefs. (I also never called God “him,” by the way.)
Humans are able to comprehend God to a certain extent, through our minds, through the natural creation, through other people — but not fully. That’s why it’s called mystery. Yet we must be willing to look if we are to see anything of God at all. Our mind’s eye must be open to something beyond. That’s why I believe in God – I have experienced God, I have evidence. But it’s not evidence you would credit. It’s understandable if you don’t want to look for God. It’s a scary concept.
Thanks for commenting.
Oct 08, 2014 @ 15:01:23
I call God a ‘him’ as I couldn’t possibly believe a woman would give mothers terrible childbirth pains because of Eve’s mistake! And how can I disprove God? By discovering a giant sign at the edge of the solar system saying ‘there is no God’?
I can’t prove my beliefs as my beliefs don’t involve a conscious deity, nature doesn’t speak English. You however have an all powerful deity that hasn’t made ‘itself’ present for some millennia now. We pretend God does by seeing images on burnt toast, or crucifixes in the rubble of destroyed skyscrapers but that’s the limit. We seek pattern (which is the topic of my next post).
How can you prove Zeus doesn’t exist? You can’t for the same reason. It doesn’t give Christianity any credit. What have you found through faith that proves God exists, but does not prove Thor exists? I’m sure everything you have found spiritually would prove that ancient Greeks, Buddhists, and Muslims are closer to the truth too 🙂
Oct 09, 2014 @ 07:32:03
lol. You sound very certain of yourself and of my experiences, which is what drives most people crazy about religious people!
Thing is, God doesn’t “speak English” either; God speaks the same language as nature – the language of beauty and order and awe. As I said, some people allow themselves to be attuned to this language, some do not.
God makes “it’s” presence known all the time to me, although usually not on burned toast. You seem to lump all belief and all believers into one whole – toast believers. There’s truth in Buddhism, truth in Islam, and I imagine there’s some in the Gods of the Greeks, I just don’t know them much.
All of those faiths or traditions are people reaching for “the unknowable,” for love, for oneness, for “truth,” as you put it. Something better than and higher than what’s here. I believe God puts this yearning for wholeness in our hearts, and is not going to frown on our efforts to reach for it.
Thanks for commenting.
Oct 09, 2014 @ 10:03:44
I am very certain that Gods presence is constantly limited to everyday occurances that can be explained rationally. The same way we ‘feel’ something with us after watching a horror movie.
If a loving God was really interested in us everyone would believe, and you wouldn’t have to blog on Gods behalf.
Oct 09, 2014 @ 21:35:04
I understand that you are very certain. You’ve made that abundantly clear. 🙂
I believe that God allows humans to live however they choose – that’s what I would expect a loving God to do. We each get to choose. I choose to love God back, and you do not. As I said, that’s OK. It’s your choice. You don’t need to try to convince me to believe the same thing you believe.
Oct 08, 2014 @ 12:55:20
Phew, you had me going for a minute there.
Oct 08, 2014 @ 13:01:58
Judging from my Facebook page, I had a lot of people going! That’s good, as a writer, I suppose. 🙂
Oct 08, 2014 @ 12:39:41
The third section is doesn’t make sense. It has no relation to the first two.
“This world is not getting better”
Actually, it is. Sometimes it’s a “2 steps forward, one step backward” thing, but the overall trend in recent history has been that the world is getting more peaceful, healthier, and happier. I’ve written a longer post on that subject if you feel like checking it out.
“I no longer have to carry around this false gratitude for beautiful vistas or cute babies or the belly laughs of my friends.”
Why do you think that those things need to have been made by God to be worth appreciating?
Oct 08, 2014 @ 12:44:50
I agree with you, historically, certainly over the very long-term. However, with the rise of corporate power, I believe we are going backwards again, without moral compass because the people in charge are no longer “people” – they are entities without conscience.
The fact that we are careening full speed into climate change which is going to be the biggest genocide of all time for the African continent is brought to us by wealthy corporations in “developed” countries. This is not progress. It is also not God’s fault. 🙂
Oct 08, 2014 @ 11:26:29
Another thought. If there were an all-powerful god, why would he, she or it want worship from mere humans? Do we expect the so-called lower species to worship us?
There is a consolation prize. Life does continue after our deaths. For as long as our gene pool survives, there will be life on Earth.
Sent: Wednesday, October 08, 2014 at 11:15 AM From: melanielynngriffin <comment-reply@wordpress.com> To: bobzimmerman@usa.com Subject: [New post] I Don’t Believe in God Anymore
melanielynngriffin posted: "I no longer believe in God. I know it’s cowardly to announce this on my blog, not having talked to any of my God-people, but there you have it. Further conversations with people who believe in fairy tales are not going to change my mind. Two simultaneous" Respond to this post by replying above this line
New post on melanielynngriffin
I Don't Believe in God Anymore by melanielynngriffin I no longer believe in God. I know it’s cowardly to announce this on my blog, not having talked to any of my God-people, but there you have it. Further conversations with people who believe in fairy tales are not going to change my mind. Two simultaneous straws broke the back of the camel from Nazareth. On Death First, I’ve been asked to give a sermon at church on finding hope in the midst of death and grief, and you know what? I can’t. I’m done trying. It’s silly to pretend that there’s a happy ending, that the people I miss are OK now, and that there is a spiritual realm in which they thrive. What factual evidence is there? We either end up underground, dressed in our finest, or we are burned up in an oven and our ashes thrown around. There are no wings involved. On Prayer The other precipitating event that led to my conversion was an exchange on Facebook. One person said “prayer changes things” with regard to some dreadful world event or another, and an atheist responded, “Money changes things more. They give the money to the rich and encourage everybody else to pray. I say get political and take the money back." Basically quit being fooled into praying instead of actually doing something. At first I thought I could understand why she felt that way — I have a lot of respect for this particular atheist, and I think that some Christians do ignore the Biblical warning, "faith without works is dead" — but then I decided that my atheist friend is dead right. Prayer is just a chimera. Prayer is a farce. There’s nobody listening. Nobody home. No “creator” that cares, no spiritual force working for good in the world, no power stronger than ourselves. The meaning I used to find through prayer was all coincidence, my brain's neurological transmitters trying to form randomness into patterns. I have been duped. On Toast This world is not getting better; people are not getting better — there is no hope. The human mind is the highest power there is, and history and politics and Rush Limbaugh prove that it is incapable of rising above itself to envision or pursue any higher state of being. We’re toast. Now that I understand there’s no God, I can abandon the silly notion that I have power beyond human comprehension to change the world for the better, or to love people I don’t like, or to overcome character flaws I would like to be rid of. I no longer have to carry around this false gratitude for beautiful vistas or cute babies or the belly laughs of my friends. Nope, it’s all just random chemicals and minerals and electrical fields born of primordial soup to no end. I’m free!
A bunch of chemicals and minerals playing in primordial ooze
Author's Note This post was written
Oct 08, 2014 @ 11:35:13
Thanks for the comment Bob. I don’t believe that the Higher Power wants “worship,” per se, I believe “it” wants love, just as we do. If God is love, which is what I believe, then it wants to be united with us in an all-encompassing love that can overwhelm the world. I think that’s why we are here – to become love. We are far from it.