I’m trying to be grown-up writer. I wrote a poem today in response to a prompt: closet. It’s a good poem, with potential. I want to post it here, right now. But I learned this weekend at the Festival of Faith and Writing that our brains dose us with dopamine when we get views and comments on our blogs. I didn’t know I was getting a chemical rush every time I posted, I just knew I liked watching my stats go up when I pressed “publish.”

If there’s an addictive aspect to something, I will find it!

So – I have decided there will be no immediate gratification for me today. I will not share my new poem with you. I will read it at a local poetry reading tomorrow night, after which I will put it in the closet for a time.

In a few days or a few weeks, I will bring the poem back into the light and polish it until it shines. I will read it out loud and ask it questions; I will caress it and cuddle it and play with it. The crease between my eyebrows will grow deeper as it does when I concentrate, but I will also laugh when the the Divine Poet presents me with a precisely perfect word. I will rearrange and reinvent my poem until at last the sublime syntax rewards me with a waterfall of joy that washes away any wish for a simple dopamine high.

And then I will submit my poem for publication. Because I am a grown-up writer.

Thanks for the closet word prompt, WordPress!

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