The big question — that’s what we disagree on. Is there a God or not? Several of my very close friends whom I love and respect believe that there is no God: no conscious, purposeful Spirit at work in the universe. I could no sooner believe what they believe — or don’t believe — than I could decide to live in a different era.
God is a reality to me. In God I live and move and have my being, as the Bible says. This isn’t a faith passed down from my parents, it is the fruit of my own hard-fought battles with life. It is what I have learned from life and death: we are accompanied.
But that’s not what I want to talk about today. I’m responding to the WordPress Daily Prompt:
“Do you have a good friend or close relative with whom you disagree on a major issue (political, personal, cultural)?
What’s the issue, and how do you make the relationship work?”
How to Make it Work
The issue is God, as I say. So, how do my atheist friends and I make our relationships work? Without having asked them, here’s what I think:
- Respect. Recognizing that none of us has all the answers, which requires at least a modicum of humility.
- Being non-judgmental. Not placing ourselves above each other, even if we can’t help thinking that our belief system is somehow better or superior or wiser or more logical or whatever. Does that make any sense? It’s separating the belief system from the person and honoring our common state of “doing the best we can with what we’ve got.”
- Refusing to play the victim. This entails trusting that “the other” is not judging. Christians can feel judged by a secular, modernistic world where the metaphysical realm is undervalued if not outright mocked. Atheists (obviously) feel judged by certain Christians who tell them they are going to burn in eternal fire if they dare to entertain non-Christian beliefs. My atheist friends avoid mocking me, and I avoid relegating them to hellfire.
- Dare I say unconditional love, or will that sound religious? They love me despite my belief in fairy tales, and I love them despite their inability to recognize a power higher and more loving than the human mind.
- I’d like to say open-mindedness, but that doesn’t fly because atheists are not open-minded about God, and I can’t very well be open to atheism. I understand atheism given our societal paradigms, but I can’t begin to open my mind to it. Some things are opinions, some things are beliefs, and some things are just unequivocally true for an individual. If life’s beating the crap out of me hasn’t made me lose my faith yet, nothing will.
- We laugh a lot. I have a sign over my desk that reads: “Blessed are we who can laugh at ourselves, for we shall never cease to be amused.”
So there ya go, WordPress, that’s how we make our relationships work.
As it happens, I’ve spent this week wrestling with a blog post that’s got me all tangled up in metaphors related to God, atheism, and climate change. I took a break from that blog post, and I ended up writing about the same dang thing!
I can’t help it. Sorry, atheist pals. Thanks for reading anyway.
And on earth, peace . . .
Jan 21, 2015 @ 12:27:20
http://americanjihad101.com/TAJ8.1.2.pdf is my perception of the world, past, present and future. Literaturegradstudent is limiting God. God is WAY out of our possible perceptions. We can’t limit Him/Her/Being into our nice little boxes of understanding. God is so powerful. omnipresent, than anything we can IMAGINE!
Jan 21, 2015 @ 14:02:40
While I agree w/ the idea that God can’t be boxed up or understood, I don’t agree with anything i see on that website. Sounds like the ultimate boxing up of God to me, and a violent God to boot. Not mine. May peace prevail on earth.
Jan 21, 2015 @ 09:27:46
I would rather live my life believing there is a God and die to find out there isn’t, than live my life believing there isn’t a God and die to find out there is.
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.
(Hebrews 11:1,3)
Jan 21, 2015 @ 13:58:39
Thanks, Brother Dave! It is not as if I have a choice. For me, I believe, I can’t deny — too much proof of God’s existence. It would be like saying, “I don’t believe in gravity.” 🙂
Jan 16, 2015 @ 20:32:45
I find it curious that the debate always seems to come down to theists vs. atheists. What about those who don’t see the world in such polar terms, like pantheists, omnists, igtheists, or henotheists?
Both theists and atheists seem to disregard people who don’t see religion or spirituality inside the tidy little boxes of “yes” and “no” even more than the disregard each other. Sucks for those of us with with legitimate ideas and beliefs that just so happen to fall on the very periphery of understanding.
Jan 16, 2015 @ 21:05:33
Yes, humans do black and white debates well. It’s how our brains work. Which is why it’s hard to get our brains around the concept of a “supernatural” or metaphysical being/spirit.
I don’t think that my belief/position disregards other belief systems, in fact I might call myself a pantheistic igtheistic Christian in that I don’t believe humans can comprehend God and I believe that God is in all and through all. I got a message from an old (atheist) friend after a post I did a while back where he described the most beautiful belief system, yet it’s completely impersonal. Interesting. I would say the biggest difference to me, the black/white line, is between a personal God that one can interact with and experience and an impersonal force or operating system or whatever.
Jan 16, 2015 @ 19:23:33
Even when I identified as an atheist, I didn’t see the point in arguing endlessly with people over their beliefs. Excellent post, I agree; it’s all about tolerance and respect.
Jan 16, 2015 @ 19:33:01
It’s hard though, because sometimes I think that my atheist friends want to argue with me because they know I’m intelligent and how can I believe in such nonsense?? Other times I want so much for my atheist friends to see the world of miracles and marvels that I see, so I want to argue with them. Sigh.
Jan 16, 2015 @ 18:44:04
The two things in our lives that are never worth disputing are personal taste and personal beliefs. There is nothing rational behind either of them and yet they’re very real. And I think might be mistaken to think that an atheist does not find miracles in life, nature. Ice is no less miraculous when you know that water, when it freezes into ice, behaves differently from every other liquid. Plenty of agnostic and atheist scientists go through their lives in a state of constant wonder.
Jan 16, 2015 @ 18:54:59
Ah yes, my favorite are the spiritual scientists, of which I consider myself one. The more we discover, the more we find out we don’t know. One of my favorite quotes is from Albert Einstein: “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle…the other is as though everything is.” Thanks for visiting!
Jan 16, 2015 @ 18:19:22
What about the magic? Do I have to believe in magic to believe in the G-man?
Jan 16, 2015 @ 18:25:09
Well, you don’t *have* to believe in anything. If, like me, you are enchanted by sunsets and allow raging rivers to cast a spell on you, I suppose you could call that magic!
One of my favorite quotes is Einstein: “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle…the other is as though everything is.” I choose option B.
Plus, I do not think that the G-spirit is a man! No big white guy w/ a beard here.
Jan 16, 2015 @ 18:49:02
What’s it (he) look ilke? Anything?
Jan 16, 2015 @ 19:00:32
Hmm – kind of like Gandalf, perhaps. Except Gandalf is a guy, and God’s not. So perhaps like an eternal sheen of mother-of-pearl, or the starry night sky, or phosphorescence in the ocean, or an exploding nebula, or the bottom of a mushroom with all the tiny,intricate frills, or an iridescent peacock’s tail, or … something deep purple. What do you think?
Jan 16, 2015 @ 19:57:54
I don’t. Maybe Jor-el (superman’s father) but lookin a little more like my father
Jan 16, 2015 @ 20:08:55
Oh yeah, when I was a little girl, God wore a suit and tie, just like my father. Did you ever read The Shack? Brilliantly conceived, I thought. God kind of looks like Aunt Jemima.